How to Get Your Dog (and cat) to Actually Listen

Frustrated that your dog ignores you, even when you sound serious, use treats, or repeat commands?

It's not about your tone or the treats. Your dog listens to your energy. If your energy doesn’t feel calm and safe, commands don't work.

And it’s not just dogs; cats notice your energy too.

If you approach an animal in frustration or tension, they’ll likely hide or ignore you.

But calm, grounded energy can make even a selective dog or cat more willing to engage.

Pets respond more to your emotional state than your words.

Why Raising Your Voice Doesn’t Work

When you tense up, raise your voice, or get frustrated, your dog feels stress, not authority.

Cats respond similarly.

If you try to get a cat’s attention with frustration or impatience, they usually withdraw. But calm, confident energy encourages a cat to come closer, explore, or even respond to simple cues like “come” or “sit” when motivated.

Dogs and cats alike are wired to respond to safety signals.

Your presence, body language, and nervous system calmness are the real ‘commands’ your pets follow.”

Dogs are experts at reading body language, facial expressions, breathing patterns, and subtle changes in your energy.

Science shows that:

• Dogs can sense cortisol, the stress hormone.

• Their heart rate can synchronize with ours.

• They notice micro-expressions we don’t even realize we’re making.

• Dogs mirror your emotional state.

  
  

Cats are similar, but in a subtler way.

They observe our body language, tone, and energy shifts, then decide if it’s safe to engage. A tense human makes a cat freeze or retreat; calm energy encourages curiosity and interaction.

Why Positive Reinforcement Sometimes Fails

Positive reinforcement is powerful, but it’s not magic. If your dog or cat doesn’t feel safe or connected, the treats or toys won’t land the same way.

It’s not disobedience, it’s a disconnect between your nervous system and theirs.

Steps to Get Your Dog & Cat to Listen Without Raising Your Voice

Step 1: Ground Yourself Before You Train

• Take one deep breath, letting your shoulders drop

• Place your feet firmly on the ground

• Relax your jaw and hands

Even 10–20 seconds of grounding sends a safety signal your pets can feel.

Step 2: Observe Your Pet’s State

• Look for signs of stress: dog tail tucked, cat ears back, pacing, hiding

• Look for calm signals: dog relaxed body, cat soft eyes and slow movements

• Only start a session when your pet is receptive

If your dog or cat isn’t in the right state, take a short walk, play with a toy, or practice a calm touch before training.

Step 3: Deliver Commands With Calm Energy

• Speak in a relaxed, confident voice

• Pair commands with steady body language

• Reward immediately when they respond

  
  

This builds trust and consistency, your pets learn that listening is safe and rewarding.

When your pets feel emotionally safe, listening becomes natural.

You’re not training the behavior alone; you’re training the emotional connection.

If you and your dog are just asking for a deeper connection and if you’re ready to take this work further, to truly understand your dog’s emotions, energy, and communication on a whole new level - I would love to support you inside Synergy.

Synergy is my program where I teach you how to rebuild trust, confidence, energetic alignment, and deep communication with your dog, so training finally feels easy, connected, and mutual.

Enroll in Synergy.

Dive deep into emotional alignment, connection-based training, and building lasting trust, without frustration or yelling.

For more about how to get your dog or cat to listen the first time, with no yelling, watch the video below.