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How to Build a Better Relationship With Your Dog
Sometimes life with your dog can feel like a battle, for even the most well behaved dogs and dedicated owners.
When our dogs aren’t listening, we often tend to think that more training is needed. Or that we need to find a better command. Practice more. Figure out how to get them to do what we’re asking.
Teaching our dogs is important. But knowing commands isn’t the same as feeling safe, understood, and comfortable with us.
Sometimes, the most helpful question isn’t, “How can I get my dog to listen?”
It’s “What kind of relationship am I creating with my dog?”
Get curious about what your dog is experiencing
Barking, pulling, chewing, and struggling to settle can be frustrating to live with. But calling our dogs naughty doesn’t help us understand what’s happening. Is your dog overwhelmed? Excited? Unsure what you’re asking? Do they need more opportunities to sniff, explore, rest, or play?
Not every unwanted behaviour comes from distress. Dogs also repeat things that are enjoyable or have worked for them before. Getting curious helps us respond to the actual situation instead of assuming they’re deliberately giving us a hard time.
That doesn’t mean letting every behaviour continue. We can set boundaries, manage situations, and teach other ways to respond while still being someone our dogs can trust.
Notice the small moments
I want my dogs to enjoy being around me. I want Penny and Millie to feel that they can look to me for support.
Part of building that relationship is paying attention when nothing particularly dramatic is happening.
On your next walk, put your phone away for a few minutes. Notice what your dog stops to smell, what catches their attention, and when they turn back to check in with you.
If we’re always distracted, it’s easy to miss those little opportunities to connect.
It’s also easy to notice every time the leash goes tight and overlook the moments when it’s loose. When your dog makes a choice you’d like to see again, respond with something they enjoy. That might be a treat, a moment of play, or the chance to keep exploring.
Make room for the dog you have
We all have ideas about what life with a dog will look like. But the dog beside us may have different preferences. Some dogs love meeting new people. Others need more space. Some want adventure, while others are happiest sniffing familiar places and curling up beside us.
Helping your dog grow in confidence starts with understanding who they are.
Choose one small moment to slow down, notice your dog, and respond thoughtfully.
In my video, I talk more about the everyday choices that build trust, how we communicate beyond our words, and ways to create a stronger partnership with our dogs, with a few interruptions from Tron, Penny, and Millie.
How to build a better relationship with your dog.
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