Effective Ways to Communicate With Cats

All cats have their own unique communication style, but there are similarities across cats in how they attempt to communicate with us, which they are always doing!

Cats communicate primarily through:

• Body language

• Scent

• Vocalization

• Routine and predictability

  
  

Before “talking” to them, it’s important to listen to the way they naturally speak.

Signs to watch:

• Tail up = confident, friendly

• Slow blink = relaxed, affectionate. “I feel safe with you, and I’m no threat.”

• Ears rotating = alert, thinking

• Walking away = “I need space”

• Rubbing on you = scent-bonding, ownership, affection

  
  

Ask yourself: Where might I be assuming my cat understands human-style communication more than feline communication?

Sometimes we “talk” too human and forget their silent language is louder.

When communicating to cats that you are safe and freindly:

• Use softened body posture

• Cats are sensitive to presence

• Turning your body sideways

• Moving slowly

• Keeping your hands lower

• Approaching indirectly instead of head-on

This makes them feel in control, which results in them trusting you.

Use Consistent Verbal Cues

Cats do learn words, but they learn tone faster.

Safe and effective tones:

• Soft, high-pitched, warm

• Slow pace

• Musical or gentle “coo” sounds

When it comes to interacting with cats, especially fearful or anxious cats:

Instead of petting immediately, offer your hand and let them:

• Sniff

• Rub

• Lean in

• Or walk away

• Offer hand low and sideways

Cats communicate through energy levels and timing.

If they are:

• Playful → use movement, toys, short bursts

• Calm → slow blinks, soft voice, gentle touch

• Independent → stay nearby without engaging

Matching their state tells them: “I understand you. I care about your boundaries.” They will begin to trust you more.

Use Interactive Play as Communication.

Play is not just exercise and fun, but it is also communication.

It teaches:

• Trust

• Appropriate biting/scratching

• Predictable movement patterns

• Emotional regulation

• Bonding

Scent Sharing & Bond Routines

Cats build relationships through scent.

Ways to communicate trust:

• Let them rub on you

• Share blankets

• Use a brush they like

• Keep familiar scents in sleeping spots

• Create “scent trails” by moving bedding around their territory

This helps them feel bonded and safe in your presence.

Speak Through Predictable Rituals

Cats thrive on routine.

Rituals are communication:

• Morning greeting

• Meal times

• Nighttime cuddle or check-in

• A predictable play session

• A consistent goodbye/return ritual

These say:

“Your world is stable, and I’m reliable.”

Some common assumptions that are false.

1. Assuming cats “misbehave” on purpose. Instead, they are communicating confusion or needs.

2. Assuming vocal responses equal comprehension. Cats may understand tone before words.

3. Assuming affection = touch. Some cats show love through proximity or watching you.

4. Assuming if a cat doesn't want interaction, it isn't friendly. Even friendly cats need autonomy.

5. Assuming silence = calm. A quiet cat can still be stressed or overstimulated.

Ask yourself:

• What signals from my cat am I overlooking because they’re quiet or subtle?

• How do I respond when my cat sets a boundary? Do I honor it immediately or try to negotiate?

• Where might I be expecting my cats to respond like dogs?

  
  

Watch the video below for more about communicating with cats, especially if they are anxious or scared.